


Skunk, Bryan, Spoon (and a Badger)

by Taste_is_Sweet



Series: All of These Were Made by Me [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Humor, LiveJournal Prompt, M/M, Multi, PWP, Previously Published, Science Fiction, Threesome, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-09
Updated: 2014-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-20 13:25:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2430425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_is_Sweet/pseuds/Taste_is_Sweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bryan joined the military, he expected to fly slow, safe transport shuttles. Instead he's on an Orbiter with an insane billet-mate named Skunk with near-fatal anger management issues.</p><p>Bryan is summarily elected to tell Skunk he needs to relax, something Skunk is surprisingly on board with, provided the 'relaxation' comes in the form of sex. With Bryan. Right there in the showers.</p><p>But Bryan's barely started enjoying Skunk's particular relaxation techniques when he realizes someone's really into the free show--none other than James Spoon, the recruit who goaded Skunk into a homicidal rage in the first place. About to be caught in the middle of a brawl, Bryan comes up with a brilliant plan to keep the peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skunk, Bryan, Spoon (and a Badger)

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally published in the [Necking](http://goo.gl/jTpVpL) anthology, published by [Dreamspinner Press](http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php), which is now out of print.
> 
> However, I didn't originally write it for Dreamspinner. I wrote it for a LJ prompt, which was a quote from Eddie Izzard:
> 
> _Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I did an original sin. I poked a badger with a spoon._
> 
> I never imagined that the little paragraph I wrote would become the first part of a threesome PWP, because I don't write PWPs. And yet, here it is. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing this batshit insane thing.

His actual name was ‘Rex’ or ‘Rick’ or something. Bryan was pretty sure it was Rick—all the Ricks Bryan had ever known were batshit insane—but everyone called him ‘Skunk’ for no reason Bryan could fathom except that he answered to it.

So here Bryan was, trapped in the copilot’s seat of a Badger EX02 (experimental, because it turned out that the Earth Defense Force was batshit insane too), and currently accelerating so fast that if the inertial dampener things failed, he and Skunk would be mashed hamburger at the back of the fighter.

Bryan hadn’t joined up to fly fighters. Bryan had joined up to fly _shuttles_. Nice, slow shuttles that stayed within a planet’s gravitational field and conformed to regulation safety standards. He _liked_ shuttles. Shuttles were turtle-shaped and white and clean and were never piloted by homicidal maniacs with nicknames normally reserved for forest mammals.

Skunk, however, seemed to be enjoying himself. They were supposed to be engaging in a mock dogfight with the other Badger, but regrettably the other Badger was piloted by James Spoon—who’d naturally lost his first name the instant he got off the recruit shuttle—and Spoon was a pretty decent guy, really, except that he happened to loathe Skunk with the heat of a thousand fiery suns.

This was a mutual loathing, of course, which meant that currently Skunk was screaming in rage while their Badger twisted into an inverted dive that had Bryan’s stomach in his throat despite the inertial whatevers. It did mean that Spoon’s next shot missed, however, which was unfortunate, since if they’d been hit their fighter would have automatically switched to autopilot and landed, ending their training session.

“YOU ARE DEAD, SPOON! YOU ARE DEAD, YOU GOT ME?” Skunk bellowed into the commlink. “NO ONE POKES MY BADGER. YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD, YOU SON OF A BITCH!”

“Oh God, oh God, please slow down, Skunk. Please, please slow down,” Bryan chanted. He could hear Spoon laughing over the commlink and Spoon’s copilot Veronica screaming in terror beside him.

“You go ahead and try, asshole,” Spoon sneered, which only made Skunk howl and haul back on the throttle a little more.

“OH YEAH?” Skunk had an impressive vocal range when he was pissed. “YOU WANNA POKE ME? POKE THIS, FUCKER.”

“Uh, we’re going to ram them, Skunk,” Bryan pointed out helpfully as Skunk steered their Badger directly toward Spoon’s, their directional thrusters flaring wildly. The little ship vibrated under the strain. “I really think we’re going to ram them if you don’t pull up, Skunk. Maybe you should—Oh my God! Pull up! PULL UP!”

In desperation, Bryan heaved backward on his yoke. He had to fight both the unfelt inertia and Skunk’s wrath-fueled adrenaline, but imminent death made a fantastic motivator. Bryan’s Badger skimmed the top of Spoon’s, missing a collision by centimeters.

“Gee,” Skunk said, blinking as their Badger continued upwards on its curving trajectory. “We nearly died.” Apparently the slap of reality had cooled his ire.

“Yes we did,” Bryan said. He leaned back in his seat and looked up out of the canopy at the distant, whirling stars. “Maybe I can transfer to the bomb squad.”

* * *

Bryan’s legs still felt wobbly as he stumbled out of the showers in the new recruit barracks. They were aboard the Military Training Orbiter Great Bustard, and in retrospect the ‘orbiter’ part might've suggested that flying anything restricted to atmosphere wasn’t in Bryan’s immediate future when he'd come on board. ‘Buster’, as everyone called it, was roughly the size of Belgium and not white, turtle-shaped or particularly friendly or clean. It was, however, gray and rusty and prone to random and bizarre malfunctions, which was why instead of showering, Bryan was shivering and pulling globs of generic edible protein out of his hair.

The water in the sinks still worked at least, though it was freezing, so Bryan had his head wedged under the tap with his ratty, standard-issue green towel around his waist when Veronica said, “We need to talk” and startled him into smacking his head on the faucet.

“Ow!” Bryan yanked his head out of the sink and jerked upright, sending a glacial river of water down his back. He looked at Veronica, rubbing his head. “What was that for?”

“We need to talk,” Veronica said again. She put her little hands on her little hips and glared up at him like a vicious elf.

“We do?” Bryan tried to stealthily make sure his now-waterlogged towel wasn’t going to fall off. The barracks were unisex, so Bryan constantly felt like he'd just walked in on his little sister in the bathroom. It didn’t help that Veronica’s own towel was only around her waist.

“We do,” Veronica said. She crossed her elfin arms over her teeny breasts and upped her glare a notch. Bryan shuffled back. “About Skunk.”

Bryan stared at her, making very sure to keep his eyes from drifting lower than her neck. “Why?”

“Because he’s insane,” Veronica said flatly. “He’s insane and almost got me and Spoon killed today, and if you don’t do something about it I’m going to smother you in your sleep.”

Bryan kept staring. “Me? Why me?”

“Because you’re billeted with the guy,” Veronica said. She stepped forward and poked him in the chest. Bryan shuffled backward a little further. “And the way I see it, that makes him your responsibility.” She moved in for another poke. “You have until our next combat practice to calm him the hell down, or else.” She turned on her heels and stalked away.

Naturally Skunk himself sauntered in, naked and dripping and completely glob-free from the showers while Bryan was gaping at Veronica’s doll-sized back. Skunk smirked at Veronica’s black glower then snapped her in the ass with his towel as she passed him. Veronica squealed and jumped, then spun and tried to kick Skunk in the balls. Skunk backpedaled, laughing.

“Or else, Bryan!” Veronica yelled over her shoulder at him as she stormed off.

Skunk smirked and moseyed over to Bryan. “What’s up with her?”

“Nothing,” Bryan said quickly. “We weren’t talking, or anything. So I have no idea what might be up with her. Because she didn’t tell me since we weren’t talking. Before.”

“Whatever,” Skunk said. He started casually rubbing his hair with his towel, seemingly content to let the rest of him air-dry.

“Right,” Bryan said. He swallowed, Veronica’s “or else!” looming doom-like in his mind. He forced himself to turn sideways so he was facing Skunk, and then had to move back so he wasn’t staring at Skunk’s chin. He crossed his arms but decided that looked too belligerent, so he put his hands behind his back. Then he decided that was too military, so he ended up with them hanging with one of his arms sort of flopped on the counter. “Right,” he repeated. “Um, we need to talk.”

“Yeah?” Skunk asked. He finished drying his hair, leaving it sticking up like a bright orange porcupine. He arched his eyebrows at Bryan.

“Yeah,” Bryan said, going for a firm nod. “You need to calm down.”

Skunk’s eyebrows inverted. “I’m plenty calm.”

“I know. I know you are,” Bryan said immediately, nodding. He put his palms up and backed away a little more, just in case Skunk showed how calm he was by attacking him. “You’re absolutely, totally calm. Completely. It’s just that….” He couldn’t help the wince. “You were kind of… not calm today.” He shrugged apologetically. “You know, when you almost killed everyone.”

Skunk’s eyebrows shot up again. “So you’re saying I need to relax.”

Bryan nodded gratefully. “Yes! Yes, exactly. You need to relax. Especially, um, especially in fighter ships. With other people in them.”

Skunk crossed his arms, staring levelly at Bryan. “Fine. How you gonna do it?”

Bryan blinked. “What?”

Skunk smiled, and there was possibly something predatory there in the curve of his lips. “Relax me.” He made a long, obvious sweep of Bryan’s body with his eyes. “What’re you offering?”

“Offering?” Bryan squeaked. He retreated another step, feeling heat flood his face as he blushed. His eyes involuntarily did the same inventory of Skunk’s body that Skunk had just done for his. Skunk was pretty much a gorgeous, red-haired, batshit insane Viking: tall and solidly muscled with rugged, masculine features, all of which were difficult to miss when he walked around naked so often.

Bryan’s personal topography wasn’t quite as… spectacular as Skunk’s. He was fit and thought his shoulders and arms were all right, but mostly he was kind of skinny and tended to look like a dunked cat a lot of the time. If he were being honest, he wouldn’t have figured he’d catch Skunk’s interest in a million years. “I-I’m not. Offering, I mean, why…why would you think that?”

Skunk shrugged. “You’re here, I’m here, you’re hot, I’m hot, we got nothing to do until oh-six hundred….” He dropped his towel on the floor then pushed away from the sink and stepped forward. “Seems like a good idea to me.”

It definitely seemed like a good idea to Skunk’s cock, and Bryan couldn’t help watching as it went long and thick, rising like a dangerous promise. He licked his lips. “It’s not,” he said with nothing like true conviction. He wrenched his eyes back to Skunk’s face with an effort. “It’s not. I don’t… I didn’t….” He realized his gaze was drifting steadily lower and jerked his attention back up. Skunk smirked at him. “I meant, um, reading, maybe?” He backed up again and hit the cool, rough metal of the bulkhead. “Games?”

Skunk just grinned. He took one final step forward and they were almost chest-to-chest. The head of Skunk’s cock butted Bryan’s abdomen just above the edge of the towel, trailing warm streaks of pre-come. Skunk put one large hand on the wall, then bent his neck a little so Bryan could see his eyes. “We can play games,” Skunk said, low and silky. His breath was a whisper of warm air against Bryan’s cheek, and Bryan shivered without being cold. Skunk leaned his head down a little more, until his mouth was level with Bryan’s blood-reddened ear. “You wanna play, Bryan?”

Bryan gulped. He wanted to say, “No,” to exert some control over what was happening, but all he could concentrate on was the humid tickle of air against his neck as Skunk breathed; the heat of Skunk’s body and the pressure of his cock. Somewhere between the last step backward and Skunk breathing in his ear, Bryan had gotten so hard the rub of the towel over his dick was almost painful.

“We shouldn’t. Not—not here,” he said, though his hips were already jerking in a helpless search for contact. “This is crazy. Someone….” He gasped as Skunk palmed the head of his cock through the towel. “Someone might see.”

“Yeah,” Skunk said, like the thought of it was turning him on. He made a slow circle around the head of Bryan’s cock with his hand. “Do you want to stop?” he asked, in a rumble that rolled all the way to Bryan’s already straining erection.

“No,” Bryan breathed. He lifted his arms and wrapped them around Skunk’s back. “No. God. Just kiss me.”

Skunk laughed and kissed him.

Skunk kissed like he piloted: wild and reckless and hauling Bryan pretty much helplessly along with him. He held Bryan’s head in both his hands like Bryan might escape, and his tongue plunged into Bryan’s mouth like it was taking over, laving it with heat. 

Bryan felt his head clunk against the bulkhead behind him as Skunk’s lips slid over his own. He could feel the light rasp of Skunk’s stubble, and smell the antiseptic scent of the cleanser they all used. Skunk’s chest hair was tickling him a little, but all Bryan could really think about was Skunk’s demanding mouth and the heat of their cocks trapped between their bodies. And how he couldn’t get nearly the friction he wanted because of the fucking towel.

Bryan tried to get rid of the damn thing, but Skunk grunted and grabbed his forearms. He lifted Bryan’s arms above his head then held them tight to the bulkhead by the wrists. Skunk started grinding against Bryan, using the same kind of frustratingly slow circles that he’d made with his hand. Bryan tried to push back, thrust harder, faster, anything, but he was pinned by Skunk’s mouth and hands and body, unable to do anything but ride out the conflicting surges of pleasure and need lancing through him.

Bryan couldn’t help the whimper that escaped his mouth. He turned his head, breaking their kiss. “Stop,” he panted. “Stop.”

Skunk pulled back and let go of Bryan’s wrists, blinking dazedly. His pupils had blown wide with lust and his lips glistened. “What?” He sounded like it was an effort to think enough to form the one word.

“Please,” Bryan said, not caring that he was begging. He finally managed to fumble the towel off and then his breath hitched as the cooler air hit his over-sensitized skin. He wrapped his hand around his dick, hissing at how good it felt, but he only got in one stroke before Skunk grabbed his wrist again.

“Don’t,” Skunk said when Bryan’s eyes flew open to glare at him. He grinned again, but this time it was eager instead of mocking. “I’m gonna suck you off, then we’re going back to our billet so I can fuck you through the mattress of my bunk.”

Bryan swallowed thickly. “Yeah, okay,” he said.

Skunk chuckled and lowered himself to his knees, never breaking eye contact. He leaned forward just enough to take a single, deliberate lick of the head of Bryan’s cock.

“Jesus,” Bryan breathed, and leaned his head against the bulkhead as Skunk took the entire shaft into his mouth.

And then Bryan saw Spoon, standing with his back against the bulkhead on the far side of the room, beside the door going to the showers. He was still in his uniform, but his pants were open and pushed down around his hips. Sweat gilded his dark skin and his night-colored eyes burned as he fucked the circle of his fist.

Spoon laughed when Bryan’s wide eyes fastened on him, the same careless laugh Bryan had heard over the commlink during the mock dogfight, shortly before Skunk attempted murder-suicide.

“Uh,” Bryan said, but it was too late. The beautiful wet heat around his dick disappeared as Skunk whirled and stood in one motion.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Skunk snarled at Spoon.

“Watching,” Spoon said, grinning. He gave himself one last pull before casually yanking up his pants, leaving the fly open with his cock proudly jutting out. “It’s a public shower.”

“Um,” Bryan said, stepping away from the wall. He was already so flushed from what he and Skunk had been doing that he couldn’t get any redder from embarrassment, though in truth he was still so turned on it was hard to care.

Skunk straightened and crossed his arms, his eyes throwing daggers. “Like it? ’Cause watching’s all you’re gonna get.”

Spoon’s grin turned sneering. “Yeah, that’s always been your problem, hasn’t it, Ricky? You want everything for yourself.”

Bryan looked between the two of them. “What?”

“We went to the same cadet school,” Spoon said as he and Skunk advanced on each other. He took a long, slow eyeful of Skunk’s naked body, lingering on his groin. “I have to say, you still got it, Ricky.”

“ _Ricky?_ ” Bryan repeated.

They both ignored him. Skunk put his smirk on again. “Yeah, but you can’t have it anymore. Bet you hate that, dontcha?”

“I just hated how you started fucking _our_ girlfriend without me, asshole,” Spoon said. They were almost face-to-face now, with Bryan standing a few steps away like a triangle point.

Bryan looked at Spoon. “Fucking your—?”

“Hey, she came on to _me_ , Jimmy,” Skunk shot back. He smiled nastily. “Guess she just liked me better.”

Skunk had scored a hit with that, Bryan realized. Spoon was actually upset, like he was remembering a past hurt. But Skunk didn't seem to notice.

“I never cared about that!” Spoon said angrily. “But the three of us were _together!_ And you went and fucked her without even _telling_ me!”

“Together?” Bryan parroted numbly. He looked back and forth at each of them, pointing vaguely. “So you two were….”

“Why, so you could stop us?” Skunk moved that much closer to Spoon, all but growling. “It’s not my problem if you couldn’t satisfy—”

“Whoa! Whoa! Hey!” Bryan shouted, sliding between the two men. He put a hand on each of their chests to try and push them back, but it was like trying to move two buildings. He could feel the heavy thumping of their hearts under his palms. “We can work this out, okay?” He looked at each of their faces as he talked. “Whatever happened with this woman, it's over. Gone. History. Rear thruster flash. It’s time to move on. Like, moving on to not killing each other. Or me,” he added when both men turned their narrow-eyed gazes on him. “Not killing me would be really, really good.”

“He started it.” Spoon jutted his chin at Skunk.

“What the fuck is that, ‘I started it’?” Skunk demanded. “Just because I didn’t ask your fucking permission when she threw herself on my dick?”

Spoon bared his teeth. “It’s a simple issue of _respect_ , Richard!”

“No, it’s an issue of you being such a fucking tightass that—”

“WHOA!” Bryan hollered. “Okay, okay, okay,” he said quickly when Skunk and Spoon both stared menacingly at him again. Bryan licked his lips, thinking desperately. “What if you, uh, shared me now?”

Spoon blinked, but Skunk’s expression blackened. “There’s no way I’m gonna let him get his hands on you.”

Bryan took a deep breath and stepped away from both men. He crossed his arms, trying to look like he knew what the hell he was doing. “You guys share me and work this out. Or neither of you gets me at all.”

“Hey!” Skunk exclaimed.

Spoon smirked. “It’s his call,” he said, gesturing at Bryan. His eyes swept Skunk’s body again. “You’re still looking good, I really do have to say, but if you’re not up for it….”

Skunk glowered at him. “Oh, I’m up for it. Not sure if you are, though.”

Spoon just laughed. “Always.” He took a long, speculative look at Bryan. “You sure about this?”

Bryan nodded dazedly. His mouth was suddenly too dry to speak. His cock had lost interest in the proceedings when it looked like he might be running for his life, but now he could feel it lengthening again, hard and wanting.

Spoon tucked himself in and zipped up, then jerked his head at the exit out to the main corridor. “Come on.” He started walking. A corner of his mouth lifted in a half-smile as he looked over his shoulder at Bryan, who was following with some enthusiasm. “You might want to get your towel first.”

* * *

The door to Skunk and Bryan’s shared billet glided shut and clicked as it locked. Almost instantly Spoon had his long-fingered hand on the back of Bryan’s neck, dragging him into a kiss. Spoon was as thorough and controlled as Skunk had been wild, slow and sensual where Skunk had been demanding. Bryan sighed and sank into it, letting Spoon nip his bottom lip then trace his tongue over Bryan’s lips as if tasting them.

Bryan had almost forgotten about Skunk and why the three of them were there in the first place. And then he felt Skunk’s broad palms sliding around his waist from behind, loosening the towel and letting it drop to the floor. Skunk started sucking and nibbling on Bryan’s earlobe. He skimmed his hands up Bryan’s body then began teasing his nipples, which made Bryan arch and gasp.

As if he and Skunk were in competition, Spoon turned his attention from Bryan’s lips to his neck, mouthing the heated skin just under his ear before following the sharp line of the tendon with the tip of his tongue.

Bryan groaned. He’d been running his hands up and down Spoon’s back, pushing under his T-shirt, but now he grabbed Spoon’s ass and yanked them together. Bryan could feel Skunk behind him, his cock sliding against Bryan’s own ass every time Skunk shifted, the straight, hard planes of his body flush against Bryan’s spine. Spoon’s hands were… somewhere. Maybe on Skunk; Bryan had no idea and couldn’t care. Spoon hadn’t showered yet, and he smelled like ozone and metal and the heady musk of his own sweat. He was slimmer than Skunk, but just as well muscled, and Bryan felt a little like he was being held between two slabs of stone.

The onslaught of sensation was close to overwhelming. Bryan realized he was thrusting unconsciously against the rough cloth over Spoon’s crotch and making embarrassing little keening noises.

He didn’t hear anyone speaking, but Spoon and Skunk must have communicated something to each other because all of a sudden they both let him go. Bryan’s eyes flew open at the loss of contact. He whined and grabbed one of Skunk’s wrists and one of Spoon’s hands, trying to keep them both from moving away from him.

Spoon laughed, flowing rich and warm over Bryan’s skin. “I think he likes it, Ricky.”

Skunk chuckled. “Don’t worry, we’re not done yet.” He tugged Bryan to the nearest bed, which was Bryan’s own, then nodded at it with his chin. “Lie down on your stomach.”

Bryan nodded mutely and crawled onto his bed, hissing as his sensitive dick was pressed between his body and the mattress. He pushed his pillow onto the floor and cradled his head in his arms. His entire body thrummed with need.

A warm hand caressed his back, and Bryan cracked his eyes open to see Spoon crouched next to the narrow bed, smiling at him and petting his sweat-damp skin. Spoon had finally shucked his clothes, and Bryan wished Spoon would stand up so he could see all of him. Spoon was even better looking than Skunk, with sharp cheekbones and lush, sensual lips. His body was sleek and lean, so dark his skin was almost true black. Bryan levered himself up on his arms and leaned toward him, fumbling his way into another kiss. He could hear Spoon’s murmur of approval when Bryan sucked his tongue into his mouth.

He’d almost forgotten about Skunk again when Skunk slapped Bryan’s ass, making Bryan startle and yelp, more in surprise than actual pain. “Hey!”

“Hands and knees,” Skunk ordered, smiling unrepentantly.

“Why do you get first shot at his ass?” Spoon asked, scowling.

“I called it.” Skunk said.

“I’m calling it now,” Spoon snarled. He stood up, finally giving Bryan the view he wanted. “You owe me.”

“I don’t owe you shit!” Skunk retorted.

“If you fight, I’m leaving,” Bryan said, hoping they couldn’t hear the depth of the reluctance in his voice. He looked up at Spoon. “What if I suck you instead?”

Spoon’s eyes dropped instantly to Bryan’s mouth, and he actually swallowed. “Yeah, that works,” he said.

“Great.” Bryan sighed in relief. The sigh turned into a small gasp when he felt Skunk’s fingers sink into the cleft of his ass, cool and slippery with lubrication, then push inside him. “Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like that. Do it,” he said as he felt Skunk’s fingers slide and twist.

Skunk suddenly hit his prostate, making Bryan cry out at the wave of pleasure that rocked through him. He dropped his head, eyes closing as he rode it out. “God, yeah,” he panted. “Like that. More.”

“You ready?” Skunk asked.

Bryan nodded almost frantically. “Fuck yeah.”

He felt Skunk’s fingers slowly pull out, leaving him empty and wanting. “Just a sec….” he heard Skunk say, then the unmistakable squelching noise of the combined lubricant/antibacterial/antiviral liquid they’d all been given after their first medical exam.

The bed dipped and creaked at Bryan’s head as Spoon climbed onto it, then Bryan felt Spoon cupping his face in his hands.

“You ready for me?” Spoon asked softly. He stroked each side of Bryan’s face with his thumbs.  
Bryan opened his mouth.

He could hear Spoon inhale as he slid his cock between Bryan’s lips. At almost the same moment Skunk used his thumbs to part Bryan’s ass cheeks, and then Bryan felt the thick head of Skunk’s cock nudging against his hole. He made a noise he hoped was encouraging and pushed back, dragging his lips along Spoon’s cock at the same time. Skunk breached him entirely, and his moan sounded almost the same as Spoon’s.

Deliciously impaled from both ends, Bryan’s breath juddered through his nose as he let the two men push and pull him into a steady back-and-forth rhythm. Skunk gripped his hips tightly in his hands, bucking as he pulled Bryan against him, while Spoon stroked his cheeks almost tenderly, staying perfectly still while Bryan’s mouth moved up and down his shaft.

Skunk grunted and changed his angle, and his next thrust rubbed right over Bryan’s prostate, then again and again while Bryan shuddered and made muffled sounds around the cock in his mouth. He was trembling head to foot with the need to come, but he couldn’t touch himself because he knew if he tried to change position he’d fall over. He was so hard his cock was bouncing against his stomach every time he moved.

“Fuck. Fuck. I’m almost, I’m gonna come,” Spoon stammered, and Bryan started sucking in earnest, swirling his tongue. Spoon came with a shout, thrusting involuntarily as he emptied himself into Bryan’s mouth. Bryan managed to swallow some of it, but at least half leaked between his lips and dribbled down his chin.

As soon as Spoon let go of Bryan, Skunk sat back on his heels, pulling Bryan with him so that Bryan ended up in Skunk’s lap with Skunk’s big hands working his hips up and down. Skunk bit Bryan’s shoulder, making him shiver, then Skunk’s pace sped up until it was nearly frenzied as he came. Bryan let his head loll forward as Skunk started mouthing and lapping sloppily at his neck and shoulders, still hard and pumping Bryan’s ass through the hot wetness of Skunk’s own semen. His hands free, Bryan gratefully reached for his cock, but Spoon got there first. Spoon circled it in both hands and started stroking, making Bryan cry out. One of Spoon’s thumbs rubbed over the slit, and Bryan came so hard he saw stars.

* * *

“So, this means you’re not going to try to kill each other with the Badgers anymore, right?” Bryan said. He squirmed a bit, then made a disgruntled noise and squirmed some more, trying to get comfortable. “I’m right on the wet spot.”

“Suck it up,” Skunk said sleepily. He threw his arm over Bryan as if to keep him there, even though Bryan had no intention of getting up anytime soon. Bryan noticed that Skunk’s hand landed on Spoon’s hip, but Bryan purposely didn’t say anything.

“Hey, I wasn’t trying to ram anybody,” Spoon said. He rolled further onto his side, probably to keep from falling off the edge of the bed. And if his hand just happened to end up on Skunk’s arm with Bryan between them, Bryan prudently wasn’t going to mention that, either. “Skunk’s the one with no impulse control.”

“You fucking goaded me, Jimmy!” Skunk said, and now there was heat in his voice.

“You two are going to get along or I’m never sleeping with either of you again,” Bryan said firmly. He sighed in relief when Spoon and Skunk went quiet.

“We, ah, we doing this again?” Skunk asked. He sounded strangely tentative.

“As long as you’re not going to be an asshole and start fucking him without telling me,” Spoon said.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” Skunk growled. He moved as if he wanted to sit up, but Bryan grabbed Skunk’s meaty thigh to stop him.

“Never. Sleeping. With either of you. Again,” Bryan said.

He could practically hear them grinding their teeth in the silence.

“He came on to me first,” Skunk said, sounding just a bit petulant.

“Yeah, well, he didn’t exactly say ‘no’ to _me_ , did he?” Spoon snapped.

“Skunk came on to me, actually," Bryan said. I just told him he needed to relax. Which you do," he added to Skunk. "But if either of you don't shut up I’ll say ‘no’ to both of you. Now stop talking so I can go to sleep.”

Another uneasy quiet descended.

Bryan had just drifted into a doze when Skunk started talking again. “It, uh, wasn’t that great anyway, with just the two of us,” he said quietly, obviously only to Spoon. Bryan hadn’t known Skunk could sound so hesitant. “It was better with you there.”

“Of course it was,” Spoon snorted. “And if you hadn’t—”

“He just apologized, Spoon,” Bryan cut in tiredly. “Accept it and shut the fuck up.”

Spoon cleared his throat. “Sure. Sorry.” He lifted up a little so he could look at Skunk. “Thanks.”

“S’okay,” Skunk said. He reached over and ran a fingertip along Spoon’s bottom lip, then grinned. “‘Bet those still taste good.”

Spoon chuckled. “Find out.”

Spoon and Skunk leaned over Bryan and started kissing.

Bryan huffed in annoyance, wondering if he should just sleep on Skunk’s bed. But as soon as he moved, Skunk and Spoon both grabbed him, like they’d planned it.

“Where’re you going?” Spoon smiled wickedly then swooped down and sealed their lips together before Bryan could answer, shoving his tongue into Bryan’s mouth. Skunk was further down Bryan’s body, doing something with his hands that made Bryan jerk and moan.

Bryan laughed against Spoon’s lips, then closed his eyes and just rolled with the sensations. He definitely wouldn’t have to worry about Veronica killing him tonight, though he wasn’t entirely sure he’d survive Skunk and Spoon.

He decided he’d be fine with that.

END


End file.
